Lady in Silver
Is cyber-converting me

Torchwood: Cyberwoman

I am going to start by saying that I thought Cyberwoman was the best episode of Torchwood so far and the best Cybermen story in a long while. It was tragic, gruesome, horrific, well acted, fabulously directed and was a really enjoyable 50 minutes of television.

Is it wrong that I found the Cyberwoman sexy?

I thought the opening scenes were great as it really showed the camaraderie that exists within the Torchwood team, but it also showed that Ianto is a bit removed from that team spirit, which might explain how he gets away with things later on in the episode. It also suggests that they have all been together for quite a while now. Apparently something very similar happened in an episode of Firefly (which I have never seen before but which I am reliably informed is very good). Well if you are going to nick stuff then you might as well nick stuff from something good. And you can’t say Doctor Who doesn’t to that.

Is it wrong that I found the Cyberwoman sexy? Admittedly the Cyberwoman looked more like a big breasted woman dressed in a full on fetish suit, complete with gaps to flash a little bit of flesh (and high heels), than what we know of Cybermen but I don’t have a problem with that. I found that it was a far better portrayal of the actual mechanics of Cyber conversion than Doctor Who ever did. Here we actually saw it for what it was and it isn’t pretty. Doctor Who could never do something like this simply because it would have been too much for a family audience but Torchwood can, so I say more power to it. I also want to know how in the hell she managed to run in those heels.

I await the scene where Sarah has girl-on-girl action in The Sarah Jane Adventures

I guess whether or not you think this episode was ‘adult’ or not depends on your definition of what makes a show adult. If you thought that this was puerile nonsense and the same of Day One then you would probably consider the entire slasher movie genre of horror films to be puerile, which some people do, but most people would not have a problem saying that they were for adults and not children.

As far as I am concerned Torchwood is the same thing. It is not for children and this episode is certainly not. If nothing else will give the DVD an 18 certificate then this episode certainly would in particular the scenes of the Japanese Doctor in his partially converted phase. It wouldn’t be the swearing in this case (as there wasn’t much of it and even then it was in keeping with the situation. I mean you’d tell Jack to fuck himself if he told you to kill your girlfriend, even if she had been turned into a psychotic cyborg killing machine), or the sex, but rather the blood and gore and the scene of the Cyberwoman being pecked to death by a pterodactyl. Having said that if those two episodes were like something you would see on CBBC then I await the scene where Sarah has girl-on-girl action in Sarah Jane Adventures, or shags someone in a toilet.

It did rather make me laugh when they discovered a cyber conversion unit in their basement and never knew that it was there in the first place. One could argue that for a secret organisation they have very lax security if they could allow that the happen without anyone noticing. You could also argue that if Ianto was allowed to get away with this then who really runs the show at Torchwood. It is often said that an organisation would crumble without its administrative staff and perhaps this is just symptomatic of that. Big up the support staff!

It was about time Ianto was given something to do and I thought that Gareth David Lloyd was excellent in this episode. You really felt for him and believed that he would do everything he could he to help the girl that he loved. I mean wouldn’t you? I know I would. Again another reason for the Cyberwoman looking like she did could be a reason to make you believe that Ianto thought that there was still a chance that she could be converted back. I mean if she had been turned into a full on Cybermen he might have thought better of it and it might have had the same effect if she had looked the Japanese Doctor did after his partial conversion. Now that was pretty gruesome but the very idea of Cyber conversion is pretty gruesome isn’t it. He might not have, but you know what I mean.

I know some people can’t believe that Jack let Ianto carry on with his job as though nothing had happened but the way I see it is that you really couldn’t let him go as he knows far too much about the inner workings of Torchwood to be let out into the streets. I guess that Jack could have given him one of those memory draft things he gave to Gwen in the first episode but as was proved in that episode they don’t always work and I really don’t think that Jack was going to kill him. I have also noticed that Jack hasn’t sworn once this series (well not that I have noticed anyway) whereas most of the others have at some point (actually I am not sure that Tosh has either).

Poor Tosh didn’t have a great deal to do in this episode either. She did more than she normally does I will grant you but she still doesn’t have a great deal to do. I hope that she gets her chance later on, I really do. Jack is getting more like the Ninth Doctor week by week. I wonder if that is why some people are having a problem with him as he has changed from a cocky, annoying character into a more introspective darker character whereas the Doctor has gone the other way. Just a thought. Don’t all jump on me at once!

Owen did what all single blokes would do if they had Eve Myles on top of him, and thought they were about to die horribly, and snogged her face off. Gwen didn’t seem to object either did she? Just like she didn’t seem to bother with Jack’s seeming sexual harassment (well according to OG anyway) in the last episode. She loves it. The hussy! It certainly seems like Gwen will end up getting of with Owen over the course of the series. You can just see it happening, there is definitely some sort of spark there. A shame really as I was hoping that it would be her and Tosh!

I actually liked the final scenes with the Cyberwoman-pterodactyl face off. Yes, it was farcical and a bit silly but it just worked. Only in a show like this or Doctor Who can you get away with that sort of thing and it just worked. It was really about the only thing they could do at the time anyway. They had no power and bullets weren’t going to kill her were they. I was a bit surprised with the final scenes to be honest as I expected the pizza delivery girl to have been cyber-converted but no the Cyberwoman somehow managed to transplant her brain into the skull of the pizza delivery girl. Yes that does sound far fetched doesn’t it but you do have to remember this is science fiction and it doesn’t have to make sense. It also showed how far away she had gone from being human at that point and it wouldn’t have been good if she had managed to save herself from the pterodactyl and then convert the pizza delivery girl into a Cyberwoman as well and then escaped from the hub and went around Cardiff trying to cybernise the entire population would it? That would be daft.

I really enjoyed Cyberwoman and I am really enjoying Torchwood, far more than I ever did watching series 2 of Doctor Who. I, for one, am glad they are making this show and hope that it runs and runs.

Originally posted on Nov 09, 2006

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