The Apprentice 2015 Week 5

In the fifth task the two teams had to create and produce a story book for kids, with an accompanying audio book, and then try and sell it to bookstores.

Sam was moved from Versatile to Connexus and suggested that he lead the team as he has a degree in English lit. Charleine took over Versatile cos she is a mum, and knows about this kind of thing. Charleine asked Richard to be the sub-team leader as he likes to have a bit of control, but she doesn’t actually let him run the sub team, instead preferring to talk to David for no other reason other than she doesn’t like or trust Richard and likes to piss him off.

April butts in with the fact that her degree is in creative writing, so I am not sure why she wasn’t chosen as the pm to be honest. They decided to base their book around the exciting adventure of a bee named Buzzy after their original ideas of a book about making honey was pooh-poohed as none of them had the slightest idea of how this happens, so for the best in general.

The majority of Connexus want the book to be about dragons (well Elle and Selina, in particular, who both loved dragons). Sam isn’t sure but after what seems like an age, Same acquiesces and the book is called, as is the main character, Snottydink, a dragon with a stinking cold.

He takes such a long time to decide on anything that the rest of his team take it upon themselves to write the bloody thing for him allowing him to catch up with them.

Versatile decide that the book should rhyme because some mums at a playgroup tell them that that is important but then use words that don’t rhyme with each other in the book but at least use words that a child would understand unlike Connexus who use words that would normally never be anywhere near a children’s book i.e. words that most adults would have to look in a thesaurus before they could explain it to their offspring.

With the books finished and the audio books in the can the teams decide who is going to do the pitching to the stores and who is going to go out and sell the bloody things.

Charleine decides that she is definitely going to pitch Versatile’s book even though Richard says that he is a far better pitcher than her but she is resolute in her own abilities and will not let anyone else near the things, especially not Richard!

Sam wants Natalie to pitch his magnum opus but she has a stinking cold and feels that she will let down. The book is called Snottydink for goodness sake, she was the perfect choice to do the pitch as that was what she was at that time. She decides to go and sell to the public instead.

Charleine pitches to Waterstone’s who decided that the book is not for them at all. Connexus don’t do much better either it has to be said but do not cock it up in such a monumental fashion as Charleine did.

There are laughs to be had when one of the teams try to sell their book to an antiquarian bookseller and Natalie forgets the profit margins leading to her being asked to leave a book shop, but she still kept on trying to sell it them until she was virtually thrown out of the shop, or at least would have been if she didn’t shut up very soon.

In the end though both teams do manage to sell a load of their books which is surprising to all concerned. Team Versatile sell 100 books for the grand price of £3.20 each, while Connexus shift the rest of their stock for just £1.75 a pop.

It is decided that Snottydink is the superior book by the professionals. It was now down to who made the most money. Versatile sold 210 books, making in total £690.10. Connexus sold 205 copies making of £587.25.

Despite being a better book they didn’t sell enough of them to win so Versatile win for the fifth week running. It is up to Sam to decide who to bring back into the boardroom with him. He took an age to decide as he was wont to do and chose Natalie for what happened in one of the bookshop and also Brett, for a reason that remains unclear to me as Brett didn’t actually do anything wrong in the task, or at least what was noticed and shown on screen.

Natalie was castigated for doing a really crap job when in the bookshop with the margins with Brett giving his twopenneth on the situation. Sam was castigated for not being decisive enough in his decision making and Brett pretty much came away unscathed. In the end it was the margins that did for Natalie as she was fired with the other two sent packing back to the house, safe in the knowledge that they had gotten away with it one more time.

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