The Apprentice 2017 Week Three

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Week three was all about robots. The teams had a programmable android which looked cutesy in a Tweeky from Buck Rogers sort of way (but which you know will go mad and massacre all the candidates in their beds not long after) and a pick of robot toys to hawk to retailers and also to shops.

As the boys were two people down Michaela was moved over to the boy’s team to even it out a bit on the basis that she is a bit bossy and has four brothers. So the boys went in thinking that they were going to boss it, which in Apprentice terms is the kiss of death.

The boys decided to go for the over sixties market with the girls going for the child market. The boys decided that the over sixties were lonely and close to death and would need someone to remind them to take their medication as they are so infirm that they are not able to remember without being reminded, which is the case for some people over sixties, but which is not the case for quite a lot of them as well which would probably not go down very well with older people.

Naturally none of the boys are that clued up about what older people are really like as they are all quite young and have a rather different opinion into what the over sixties want than people who are actually over sixty and know what they want and need, which isn’t what they were offering them at all.

Half the boys team decided to call the robot Jeffrii whilst the other half didn’t like it and decided to call the robot Simon instead, as that is obviously a better name than Jeffri, but without informing the other team who went and programmed the robot to call himself Jeffri.

They also spent so long deciding on the branding that they never got to finish it and they couldn’t even get the spelling or the grammar correct which meant that the board they used to show of their product was unfinished and totally unprofessional. Naturally none of the boys would take responsiblity for that failure, especially if they failed to win the task as a result.

The girls robot was all about learning and they actually managed to not offend an entire group of people with their robot and actually did what they set it to do and did not contradict themselves by not being sure what the robot was called.

Due to the last minute name change and the other half of the team finding out about the boys teams looks like a right pair of tits in front of the retailers when they were introducing it as Simon and then the robot contradicting them calling himself, Jeffrii, which he was programmed to do.

The girls did much better and their robot almost impressed the retailers with its kung-fu moves and grasps of basic mathematics, and also the fact that it fell over like it was pissed, but at least it didn’t make them look idiots like the boy’s robot did.

So it was a no-brainer that the girls ended up winning yet again. The girl’s bubble will soon burst though as they are constantly arguing with each other and, one of these days this will lead to an outburst, which is an accident waiting to happen, to quote the great Billy Bragg.

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