TheApprenticeep6d-09aae8cThe candidates were dispatched to Bruges and tasked with offering up to 16 passengers a tour of the city, and also flog them as much tut as they could, with the team with the most profit winning and the team with the least profit losing. Simples.

Sarah-Jayne was made project manager of Vitality with Elizabeth project managing (or shouting very loudly at) Graphene.

Vitality decided to go for an historical tour of the city with Graphene concentrating on the modern city.

Vitality also opted for a beer tasting mostly because Andrew likes drinking with Graphene going for the other Belgian staple chocolates.

Graphene offered their tour the use of segways for some of the tour, with Vitality offering a horse and cart approach for part of the tour.

Whilst half of the team worked out the tours the other half flogged their wares with promises made of a segway tour round Bruges and enough drink to get you bladdered and also that a good time would be had by all, which the majority of the people they spoke to all accepted.

Have they even seen this show? I would have been very circumspect if it had of been me. However the segway tour sounded like a hell of a lot of fun and would have been worth if it that was what they had got, rather than what they got.

They also decided to maximise profits by selling souvenirs of the city and their trip but, in reality, only one of the teams really made an effort in the souvenirs they were selling with one of them selling really cheap and tatty key rings and the other team selling stuff that looked like it cost more than a couple of quid.

When it came down to the tours themselves neither of them were that exciting and when it came down it neither one of them was exactly as sold to the punters.

Graphene’s segway tour of Bruges was mostly ots of walking and a little bit of segway, with a quick stop of inhale some chocolate than that back on the tour all ran by Sergeant Major Elizabeth whose motto was very much get it all over with as quickly as possible and not give as shit if the people were actually enjoying themselves.

Vitality’s being lots of walking and a very short ride in a horse and cart. They did give them some alcohol but not enough to make a mouse drunk, or a complete lightweight, such as me. For the majority of the time these poor people walked round and round in circles with Charles never once admitting that he didn’t know where the hell that he was for the majority of the time.

Surprisingly there were very few refunds asked for, which completely shocked me as I was expecting that everyone would have asked for their money back.

In the end Graphene won by making slightly more profit than Vitality despite them spending less on the task and selling more tickets but makes a total pigs ear of the tour taking their clients on a wild goose chase entirely unplanned and unfocussed which was like being taken on a tour by someone who didn’t know where the hell they were going, which is pretty much spot on.

Sarah-Jayne bought Andrew and Charles into the boardroom with her and Sarah-Jayne was fired even though both Charles and Andrew both could have gone: Andrew because he treated it like a club 18-30 holiday and Charles because he did very little except point out what went wrong and also because he made a cock-up on the tour getting lost, even though he refused to admit that he was lost. Quite how they all didn’t get fired for this I will never know and Sarah-Jayne was unlucky to be the only one fired for this debacle.